…But I Don’t Feel Like It

I was giving God the silent treatment today. The Big Man seemed to be letting the world  push all my buttons and I was over it. OVER IT. I wasn’t about to read my Bible, say any prayers, listen to Christian music, and I absolutely wasn’t going to Bible study. I was making a point, darn it!

And I made it most of the day…until 7(pm) rolled around. I sighed as I pulled in to the church parking lot, balled my fists during the first song, rolled my eyes and clinched my jaw at each “Praise Jesus!” (Seriously, guys, can’t understate how “over it” I was.)

I don’t know what got me in the door but I did it. And let me tell you this: I walked out the door a renewed person – not quite smiling, but no longer gnashing my teeth. Sure, the study was good, but it wasn’t that good.  Sure, the pastor is convincing, but he isn’t that convincing. [Seriously, I was waaaay over it.] It was something much more compelling than the songs and the sermon that changed my sour mood.  I have to believe that the power of love is what softened my heart. Yes, Gods love to me, but also my love to Him.

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How amazed I am that being loving to God – simply by giving Him the time of day – completely changed my outlook and mood! And isn’t that true with all relationships? Things are likely to go more smoothly when we act in love. People aren’t always as easy to love on as God is [understatement of the century]. Even so, no matter the situation, no matter the outcome, you will never regret displaying love – even when you don’t feel like it.

Displaying love even when you don’t feel loving has the power to change the circumstances.

[Easier said than done, Kaity.] Trust a sister when she says she knows; I’m absolutely not great at this. Big Brother Jesus has shown me a different way but it is still a fairly new concept to me. I can’t recall every time I’ve reacted in hate/anger/disappointment/etc – because WOAH there are so many! I can tell you about a few times that I’ve reacted in love – because WOAH it was worth it! The humility it takes to respond in love, above all other emotions, is worth it. So worth it.

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15 thoughts on “…But I Don’t Feel Like It

  1. Very well done! I am also new to blogging/writing, but I have learned that does not matter. Just write what God gives you and you will see God change you and others around you! You’ve got this girl 🙂

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  2. Kaity, I love the name of your site and welcome to blogging! My mother gave me a mustard seed necklace too, and the meaning behind it also stuck with me. I enjoyed your honesty and humility while reading this post.

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  3. I have totally felt over it before too! Ha- it’s so refreshing to hear other people say that. You are right. Just like in every other relationship, love of God is a choice! Sometimes we just gotta do the right thing and let the feeling follow.

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  4. I love the honesty of this post. I’ve been there too but God honors our love for Him and our obedience. One thing I have to learn is to respond to other PEOPLE with love when I don’t feel like it. Sometimes I forget or as I say, put God on a shelf. But I can’t say I love God and respond to His people in a way that is not loving. This post was a great reminder for me.

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    • I struggle to love on people all the time, too. Last week was one of my all time lows on that front. I felt ashamed of my behavior and that I wasn’t behaving in a way that I could even call myself Christian. Thankfully, grace allowed me to move past my shame and ask forgiveness from those I had wronged.

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      • Thank God for grace! The good thing is that you were able to right your wrongs in a way that is honorable to God. There’s a recent situation I experienced in which pride kept me from seeing my wrong doing for a while but now I’ve forgiven myself and asked God for the same. We are learning day by day.

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