How To Win Single Friends and Influence People

Many times social situations with new people, our conversation goes a bit like this not at all exaggerated, actually happened to me (more than once) example:

“Hi, what’s your name?” – New person

“I’m Kaity. Nice to meet you.” – Me

“Are you married?” – Newb

“No, I am not.” – Me

“Oh, that’s ok. Are you seeing anyone?” – Newb, honestly not making a move, just trying desperately to connect

“No…” – Me

“Oh.” – Awkward Newb

“Are you married?” – Me, trying to return the favor

The conversation then becomes wickedly one-sided with me asking about their family, their hobbies, their adventures, and so on. And I’m totally cool with that – it’s a great chance to learn about someone else! But I wonder if The Marrieds might feel like they’ve missed an opportunity because they weren’t able to learn much about this potentially awesome new single person they just met simply because they couldn’t get past the mind blowing fact that the single person is, in fact, single.

So, I’m here today to give The Marrieds some advice. Here are 7 topics with suggested questions (and follow up questions) for you to discuss. Write them on note cards and keep them tucked away in your wallet/purse/cardigan/secret wedding ring compartment I don’t know exists – because you never know when you’ll want to whip these bad boys out and connect with a single person. Try going through them in order.


Before we go any further, let me tell you I shamelessly stole this line of topics from Dale Carnegie. If you haven’t taken the training or read any of his books….oh, maybe that’s why you’re having trouble getting past the relationship status question.

Topic 1: Who are you?


Are you named after anyone? Do you know what your name means? Do you have any nicknames?

“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” – Mr. Carnegie himself

Topic 2: Geography


If you don’t want to get that stalker like, try these variations: Where are you from originally? How far do you live from here? Do you rent or own? What was your commute like? Is the weather much different there than it is here?

Topic 3: People & Pets (not just significant other)


Do you have any pets? Does your family live nearby? Are you close in age to your siblings? Who is your biggest role model?

Just because a person does not have a “significant other” doesn’t mean they don’t have a community.

Topic 4: Makin’ Bank


What does your place of business do? What’s your favorite thing about your job? What job do you see yourself doing in 5 years?

Single people have ambitions, too. It’s that simple.

Topic 5: Geography, Round 2


Where is the coolest place you’ve been? What places are on your list? Do you have any advice for travel planning?

Single people have the freedom of going wherever pretty much whenever they want without worrying about someone else’s time table. Maybe they can tell you a website to score sweet deals for your next romantic getaway.

Topic 6: Hobbies


Do you prefer books or movies? Do you do play/watch any sports? What is your favorite genre of music? If you were rained in, how would you spend the day? Do you do any volunteer work?

Like I said before, single people have free time. They fill it somehow!

Topic 7: Open Forum


Lastly, open the floor for whatever the single person might want to talk about that you haven’t hit yet.

Be casual about all this; is isn’t supposed to feel like a game of 21 questions. Let the conversation naturally flow, ask additional questions when something piques your interest or when the other person seems really excited about the topic. The purpose is to connect with someone new.



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